Throughout my career as a School Psychologist, I have worked as an evaluator in over 80 schools. During the initial portion of the Psychological Evaluation, I always observed the child in the classroom setting. While observing one of my designated students in a fifth grade class, I was distracted by an enthusiastic, pint sized boy who was attempting to get the teacher’s attention, while she was reviewing the new spelling words for the week. She chose a word from the list, called on a student to say the word, spell it, and say it in a sentence. I immediately noticed a small, squirmy boy seated at the edge of his seat. Following the teacher’s careful pronunciation of each word, he raised his arm high in the air while passionately groaning, “Oh, oh, oh”. Although his eagerness seemed entirely endearing to me, the teacher completely ignored him. Finally after reading the last listed word, the teacher finally called on him.
“Robert, the word is ‘flame’, say it, spell it, and say it in a sentence.”
A huge smile erupted across Robert’s freckled face as he enthusiastically responded, “Flame. F-l-a-m-e, A flame burns inside me.”
The teacher glared at Robert as she exclaimed, “Robert, that was a stupid sentence! People don’t have flames burning inside them! Can somebody else give an example of a sentence that isn’t ridiculous?” A girl in the front row sneered at Robert as she responded, “A flame burns in the fireplace.” The teacher praised the girl and acknowledged that her sentence was far superior to the previous one. Robert sunk into his seat, put his head down, and stared at the floor for the remainder of the class.
I followed Robert as he left for recess and then watched as one of his classmates taunted him, “A flame burns in you. Does it hurt…Ha-ha?” When the bully left, tears welled in the corners of Robert’s eyes.
I approached Robert, put my arm around his shoulder and explained, “Robert, I don’t know if you saw me but I was in your Language Arts class. I loved your sentence when you used the word ‘flame’. Most people don’t understand what it means to have that passion or that flame within. I have a flame that burns inside me too and it’s the best part of me. It pushes me to create new things or take important actions that help others. You are indeed special, Robert.”
He looked up into my eyes, wiped away his tears, smiled, and simply said, “Thank you”.
My uncle Barton had the same intrinsic passion, which compelled him to fight for the Spanish children that resulted in saving the lives of several thousand and giving many more hope that sustained them. I am so proud of in my grandchildren, who have inherited from their great uncle a similar penchant to fight for a cause in which they truly believe.
On Veteran’s Day, I accompanied my grandchildren to a parade and event that followed in their hometown. Upon the completion of the festivities, I offered to take them shopping for a toy of their choice, followed by lunch at their favorite restaurant. My nine-year-old granddaughter grabbed my hand and with tears in her eyes explained, “I need to go home and write a letter to President Obama. In my school there are many kids of color, other kid’s parents were born in different countries and the kids are afraid that their mom or dad will have to leave the country. Even though all my friends are mixed, we all get along. Their color and the country they came from doesn’t matter. My grandmother comes from Vietnam and I’m so afraid she will have to go back there. Obama understands. He can do something to help us all get along together. He can tell us kids what we can do.” My granddaughter and her brother, two years her senior, and I returned to their house. Both children spent the next several hours composing heart-felt letters to the President.
Both my grandsons from Portland, Oregon are fearful of the future administration. My fourteen-year-old grandson has been in a Spanish immersion program since Kindergarten. Several schools in the conservative suburbs are threatening to eliminate their immersion programs because the upcoming administration is focusing on nationalism and the importance of speaking English. My grandson marched in a Portland protest next to a thirteen-year-old peer and was horrified when a thirty something-year-old, self-proclaimed Trump supporter punched his friend in the face. My other grandson, who is in college and very concerned about global warming, marched in several protests. As he explains, “The effects of global warning cannot be reversed. We cannot wait four more years!”
Even at their young ages, my grandchildren fight for causes in which they believe and are attempting to change policy in their own unique ways. Just as uncle Barton, they have flames burning inside of them. Their causes are the most important aspect of their lives! Their accusers may call them ‘crybabies’ while they are only exercising their first amendment rights with the hope of making the world better for all.
It is important to stand up for what you believe is right, even though there may be an unpalatable consequence. That is known as integrity. Ask yourself do you have a flame burning inside of you? Do you live solely for self-gratification or ego enhancement or do you live for a cause greater than yourself that can somehow make a notable and lasting difference in the world? If you discern a flame within yourself, your children or grandchildren, nourish it. Allow it to grow into full bloom! This is what God intends as he weaves together each precious emerging soul.